Room For Desire: Building A Beginner's Sex Room

Room For Desire: Building A Beginner's Sex Room

Most people assume they are not kinky enough for a sex room. People think sex rooms are some sort of deviant dungeon only for the truly sex-crazed or for some guy who is masturbating in a dimly lit concrete basement. No, no, no.

 A sex room is simply a room for desire. It is an oasis, a place where you and your lover can melt into one another. It’s a room with intention. It’s simply a room that you can escape into where you are able to shut out the rest of the world. It is a place of play where you don’t think about doing the laundry. It’s a place without the t.v. on the background. It’s a place of intention and love.Bondage sex room with cuffs on bed

When you are preparing to create a sex room, remember that it doesn’t have to be extravagant. It can even be the bedroom you have now, with a few simple additions or tweaks that make it really sparkle. It can be a smaller room in the house or it can be the whole basement, whatever you want is what you shall have.

This room of desires and exploration is all yours. Before diving into creating a sex room, it’s important to talk to your partner about what this room means to both of you. It’s good to really consider what you want to do in this room and how you can both expand your sex lives together in this shared space of desire.


Find your fantasy

A room of desires. A sex room. A space for intimacy exploration. A sex room is a way to bring your wildest fantasies to life. What sort of fantasy world is most inviting to you? What does this room look like to you? For this, you want to think about feelings and visualization.

Deciding how you want things to look and feel will depend a lot on how your sex room manifests. Think about the sort of feeling you want to invoke in this room. This is going to be reflected in colors, textures and textiles. Are you thinking dignified or deviant? Are you leaning playful or towards opulence and luxury?

This can be the difference between all-white walls, lots of warm lighting and mirrors or black walls, leather and bright red accents. Does it invite a honeymoon feeling? Or could it be offering feelings of kink and boundary testing? Perhaps you want to invite the feeling of play and you lean into rainbow colors and iridescent accents. It all depends on the way you want to feel when you enter the room.

What's the tone

This is a place for play, so what is the tone of play? This is when you can begin to integrate the details. The sex toys. Sex toys are the meat of a sex room, there are the playthings and the

sexual offerings that will elevate your sexual experiences and allow you to really take advantage of the sex room you’re creating together. What are your favorite things to explore sexually together already? Make sure that the details of the room are already things you gravitate towards, this will make your sex room inviting and enticing.

Let’s look at a few different tones and how you can use sex toys, sexual enhancers and exploration to create three very different types of rooms. The rooms we will explore are described as luxurious, playful and kinky. Not everyone's tone or type of sex room is noted here, in fact, every couple's tone will be different. However, we hope these examples start to open your mind to see just how much is possible. This way you can begin to create the sex room of your dreams.


(Luxurious Sex Room. Photo Courtesy of Netflix)

Luxury sex room with feathers and fluffy pillows

This couple wants to create a home away from home feeling or something of an oasis. Your ideal sex room is opulent and luxurious. It’s something of a honeymoon suite. This duo cares about sensual details. You are interested in inviting textures, visually radiant details and you enjoy lush spaces.

For the opulent couple looking to deepen their intimacy and sensuality, I would consider adding these details to your sex room. Let’s start with this gorgeous rose-gold bondage rope. This rope is very versatile. Learn how to tie one another up in style or use it for light impact play. The gorgeous burgundy sex pillow optimizes positioning which allows for deeper penetration and more versatility in the bedroom. Finally, I would recommend this you & me bundle that includes sex game ideas as well as a silk blindfold and rose petals.

This couple might also want to look into feathers, mirrors and investing in luxurious massage candles and a really nice lubricant for fully indulging in long-lasting sessions of lovemaking.


(Playful Sex Room. Photo Courtesy of Netflix)

This couple wants a sex room where everything is possible and the horizons for the sex life are endless. In this room, this couple is attracted to color, curiosity and the feeling of lightheartedness. For those looking to enhance their sex life through play and curiosity, check out these toys to build out the basics of your sex room

playful sex room with bright colors and stripper poleIn this room, I would start with this light-up stripper pole at the center of the room. The stripper pole is the ultimate sex room centerpiece. It invites voyeur and exhibitionist play, erotic dance and is the perfect anchor for tying your loved one up. Speaking of bondage, this iridescent bondage kit is the perfect addition to a curious couple's playful sex room. If the whole set is too much, try this cute pink leash and collar as well as this fun and cheeky paddle.

This couple should also check out this buttplug with an attached wolf tail. It comes with a matching set of ears for ultimate exploration of playfulness and pleasure.



(Sex room at EuroSuites Motel in Mexico City. Photo courtesy of NOMADICATED.)

Red sex room with stage, stripper pole, and sex seat

In this dynamic, these lovers are interested in higher impact play. Pain and pleasure turn them on. They desire to push the boundaries and explore their own limits. This couple wants a deviant sex room that allows them to feel free to dive deeper into each other and their curiosities. This is a place where they can really let loose. For this couple, there are lots of great things to explore.

Restraints and impact play tools are fantastic for this couple. This deluxe bed restraint kit is the perfect way to tie someone in your sex room. It is versatile, easy to use and extremely erotic. For more intense restraining, try this wide-open-mouth gag. It’s a bold tool to experiment with that still allows for ultimate pleasure.

Nipple clamps are the raunchy, sexy, and must-have sex toy for this kinky couple, especially when they have bejeweled metal spikes. Prepare and entice the nipples with this tingly nipple balm that will elevate the experience even further. Use this sex pillow to give you more variation and enhance your spanking positions for your paddles and hair pulling.


No matter what your fantasy, flavor, or sexual desires there is a sex room waiting to be made by you, for you. Make your sex room a weekend project or you can build it slowly over months as you explore each other and what you like, whatever works for you.

Remember, a sex room is simply a room to explore desires. It can look and feel however you want. It is a place dedicated to expanding your sexual experiences and pleasure horizons. Talk to your partner about what a sex room would look like for your sex life and start making plans for it today!