Ass(istance) on How to Get the Most Out of Anal Play For Beginners

Ass(istance) on How to Get the Most Out of Anal Play For Beginners

Entering a new portal of sexual exploration can be a bit intimidating, especially for women where the pleasure of anal play might not be as biologically obvious or clear. However, anal play is fun, sensational and erotic for all bodies. It’s a magical portal of interest to explore with yourself, your partner or your lovers. Don’t be shy, dive right in.

As with all new frontiers, it is best practice to do your research. Research makes you feel empowered. Information, ideas, and clarity on concerns are a great way to enter into a new sexual territory. It is also great to do your research to be more aware of boundaries, limits or rules you might want to put in place before starting.

The anus is full of nerve endings making it a place of pleasure and play for all genders. For women (while we might not have a prostate) entering the anus can invigorate a hard-to-reach branch of the internal clitoris – also known as the a-spot (a bit on the nose, no?). So, when done right, anal play can expand your pleasure horizons and diversify your sex tool kit for ultimate frisky and fun play!

Butttt, important basics

Buttttt.... I’m scared she whispers, about poop. Let’s get this out of the way so we can move forward feeling confident and cute. Anal sex is cleaner than you think. The end of your rectum holds very little fecal matter. You do not have to worry about the experience being all about poo. That being said, yes, things happen (on rare occasions). If you have a history of hemorrhoids I would not recommend anal play for you. It is for these reasons that you should explore anal play with someone you feel safe and comfortable with.

If this is a major concern of yours or you want to explore anal play for the first time with as few worries as possible, we recommend having a specific area to explore. This could mean stripping away the nice bedsheets and putting down an old blanket. For some, you might want to explore anal play for the first time in the shower or the bathtub as these are areas that might make you feel safer– as they are easy to clean spaces. You can also set up a resting station (like a bandana or tea cloth) for any toys you will use so that you know there is a spot for them that is easily cleaned after.

Two more essentials off the top are that you actually can contract STDs and get pregnant from anal sex. Just because it isn’t vaginal sex doesn’t mean the STD’s excuse themselves. The anus is also susceptible to microfissures (even more so) and transmission, so wearing a condom for safety reasons is great practice. If you are not going to use a condom, because you feel safe with this person (or are already not using them for vaginal sex), then be careful when it comes to cleaning up. Pregnancy can occur if you are not on the ball and sperm drips from the anus into the vagina.

Basics 102

It is completely normal to feel like you are pooping, while exploring anal sex. It makes sense, not often are you inserting something in your anus – you are usually exporting. However, the pressure feels very similar. So while these are normal feelings, ask your partner what is going on, they will be able to ease your fears.

Speaking of speaking, communication is key during anal sex. Make sure you have worked out with your lover different safe words and name it from the beginning that you will keep in touch with one another, constant check ins, pausing along the way to make sure everyone is staying in contact and consent is at the top of mind.

Farting is also fine and natural, just like you can queef from your vagina while having sex, butt queefs are also all good and sometimes part of the process. Don’t fret and don’t be embarrassed– these things happen.

Now we have eased all the fears (I hope). Let’s dive into the unknown.

Starting small with the right toys

As with all pleasure, it is a great idea to try things out on your own first. Anytime we near the anus, even hint at nearing the anus we want to use lots and lots and lots of lube. The anus does not produce its own juice (unlike the vagina) so you should keep that area well lubricated. Silicon-based lubes are best for the anus as they are long lasting as are numbing gels as they can help you relax the area and help you ease into the process.

Start with sex toys before you move to fingers or a penis. Anal beads and butt plugs are really great options. When it comes to anal play, you should use toys specifically for the anus. Unlike the vagina, things can get lost and hard to retrieve if they get too far up. To save yourself from an extremely sitcom-like visit to the emergency room, only use toys specifically made for ass play. Anal beads and butt plugs have stoppers on the end that make it stress free for you.

Starting small can mean just stimulating around the anus with a anal beads or a vibrating butt plug. When you start with these toys and tools, you don’t even have to penetrate your anus if you don’t want to. The area around the rectum is full of nerve endings and this stimulation alone is extremely pleasurable. When you are feeling warmed up, hot and horny from this stimulation can move one step further.


If penetration is where you want to head and what you are hoping to explore, you should still start with stimulating around the anal opening first, like all things penetrative, a jarring entry is never nice or satisfactory.

The penetration sex-toy, finger or penis (after stimulating the area around) can then begin to slowly and gently move towards entry. Again, at the beginning the penetration should err on the shallow side. The entrance of the tip of the toy or penis will be where you will feel the most sensation. This sensation might not be pleasant, but remember that you can move as slow as you want and that the entry will hurt the most. Consider using an anal plug set to work yourself up to larger and more intense sensations.

After the penetrative tool is inside, there are not many nerve endings deep inside the anus, so after getting through the portal you will notice that depth is not really a problem or hard to perceive. This is when the motions of moving in and out will bring about feelings of pleasure. The penetration should not mimick bunny fucking– no quick and rapid movements when it comes to the anus as the skin is very sensitive here and susceptible to tears.

Making it hot hot hot

Anal play feels best when it is in tandem with additional stimulation. This is best paired with clitoris stimulation (hello we love her!) Something that really brings sensational vibrations and stimulation will heighten anal play to a level of intense feeling and pleasure. If you want to bring in all the stimulation for ultimate penetration and layered orgasmic waves – use a clitoral and g-spot toy.

Despite contrary belief, you don’t just have to just do doggie when it comes to anal play. In fact, there are dozens and dozens of positions to try out when experimenting with anal play. Lap dance, backdoor missionary, and spooning to name a few.

For ultimate orgasmic, multi layered sensations try to sync up orgasm with the removal of vibrating anal beads or a ‘bad girl’ butt plug. Trust us! It will blow. your. mind.

Anal play is for everyone and the ass is up for grabs! If you haven’t explored this area much, remember that you can go at your own pace, learn what toys work for you and how you like them. Take your time experimenting, feeling deeply into all the beautiful sensations of your body and portals.